resources

RESOURCES:

https://character.org/our-priorities/sports-afterschool/

for character building, better relationships, and increasing responsibility

https://newportstyle.net/tiffanys-table-manners-for-teenagers/   

witty,  and illustrated with humor and style, this classic guide to good table manners has delighted readers of all ages since 1961.

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Young children often struggle with sharing, but when children reach 5^th-6^th grade they have a better understanding of fairness and are more willing to share. Sharing is important because it makes us feel good, gives us a little self-esteem boost and shows us what it is like to be on the receiving end of a positive interaction.

At cotillion, we provide gentle encouragement for your child to share with others, and take turns, waiting patiently.

Cooperation allows us to work together with others towards a common goal. This helps us build respect, resourcefulness and problem–solving skills. When we cooperate together, we exercise both our communication and listening skills.

Cooperation is essential to co-existing in a community, be that in school, on a team or at home with friends and family. As individuals in a greater society, we are always in situations that will call for cooperation, so it is important to practice these skills.

Just like all the other important social skills, following instructions is something that needs to be practiced.  Children who can’t follow instructions will find themselves facing a number of challenges.

Minding your Ps and Qs isn’t just an old fashioned concept; saying “yes, please/no, thank you” and “excuse me” and “I’m sorry” and “here, let me help” will gain children attention for all the right reasons.

Parents know that teaching chilren manners can feel like an uphill battle sometimes. Tantrums at the end of screen-time, sulking at the dinner table,  simply forgetting to be grateful when we get something special, or act graciously when called upon to do so…  all of us can let our manners go out the window from time to time.

Good manners show empathy and understanding, but for children to know HOW to be polite and respectful they first must witness it, then practice it, then automate it.

Some children have no concept of personal space. They’ll happily follow you anywhere, chatting away the whole time, without thinking twice or try to get your attention while you’re obviously occupied.  While snatching and grabbing is quite common (and expected!) when children are playing, as they get older and start mingling in polite society, they may not be aware of other people’s personal space and what is appropriate for a given situation.

We address this by role playing different situations and showing children how to respect personal space to make sure they know why it is important.

** DATES and TIMES ** for 2024 - 2025

All of our '24 - '25 Junior Cotillion events are held at the Shenandoah Club.

        * INTRO * class for beginners/first years only   9/20/24   Friday night  6:30-8PM downstairs 

class #1        10/11/24      Friday night 6:30-8PM (re-scheduled due to Hurricane Helene) 

class #2        10/18/24      Friday night 6:30-8PM 

class #3        11/15/24      Friday night 6:30-8PM 

* dinner *  bronze room - second year students only  THURSDAY 12/19/24  6:30 - 8:30PM

class #4         1/24/25       Friday night 6:30 - 8PM 

class #5         2/28/25       Friday night 6:30 - 8PM  

        * Spring Ball *            Friday night in March 2025 -TBD 6:30-8:30PM  

Watch here for makeup dates, as needed 

2024-25 SENIOR ASSISTANTS: 

Emily Ngyuen, Northside High School, senior

Michelle Ochoa, Northside High School, senior 

2024-25 JUNIOR ASSISTANTS:

Lily Lenkowski, North Cross School

Olivia, Cave Spring 

Abigail, home school

Purpose: To ensure the safety of students while learning to dance at Cotillion, all students must wear closed-toe shoes.

Acceptable types of shoes include low-heeled boots.

The following types of footwear are strictly prohibited:

• Flip flops
• Crocs
• Sandals
• High Heels
• Platform shoes

It is the responsibility of each student to ensure their footwear meets the requirements.

August 2024

This year in cotillion we'll focus more on  "Manners in Public"

ps. and what is on MY bookshelf this summer?  

See you in September!

Summer Reading:

What books are on my bookshelves, you ask?  Well, this one is particularly good:  "Hold On to Your Kids" 

dress for success!

Dressing With Style And Confidence

As middle schoolers navigate their way through the exciting and transformative years of adolescence, one aspect that often takes center stage is fashion. Dressing age-appropriately not only allows them to express their personal style but also helps build confidence and respect for themselves and others. In this post, we will explore some tips and ideas for middle school age-appropriate dress, ensuring a balance.

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Comfort:

Middle school is a time for self-discovery, and it's important for students to feel comfortable in their clothing choices. Encourage them to embrace their individuality by choosing styles and colors that reflect their personality. Whether it's a graphic tee paired with jeans or a funky patterned dress, let them express themselves. 

Neatness:

It's essential to consider appropriate lengths and to ensure that clothing is neat and well-maintained, to present a polished appearance.  Middle school is a time for self-expression but students should also be mindful of their choices, opting for collared shirts for a more put-together look.

Dressing Up for Special Occasions:

As middle schoolers attend events such as dances or formal gatherings, it's important to guide them in choosing age-appropriate attire. For boys, a well-fitted suit or dress pants paired with a button-down shirt and tie can create a dashing look. Girls can opt for knee-length dresses or skirts and might try to avoid overly mature styles.

Encourage middle schoolers to choose footwear that is both stylish and comfortable. Sneakers, flats, or low-heeled shoes are suitable options that allow for easy movement. When it comes to accessories, less is often more. Encourage them to choose one or two simple accessories that complement their outfit without overwhelming it.

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By encouraging students to embrace their individuality while still adhering to social norms, we can help them develop a sense of style and confidence.  Fashion is a journey of self-discovery, and it's important to support and guide them along the way.

party planning

There is some really good info here:

https://porch.com/advice/party-safety-tips

Do Manners Matter in Business Q&A

My spouse brought this one to my attention:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/laurambrown/2019/05/14/do-manners-matter-in-business-qa-with-business-etiquette-expert-rosanne-j-thomas/?sh=4ce1bd3e5dcf

Spring Ball - March

Spring Ball:

Students and chaperones are encouraged to dress their very best and come out and have fun at the dance! Attire is semi-formal with black tie optional.   Please give your children dinner at home before the ball.  

Formal table setting

Forks, bread&butter plate on the LEFT

Knives, spoons, and water goblet on the RIGHT

Remember:  B - M - W   ( bread - meal - water )

City sidewalks, busy sidewalks. . .

I remind students, when we are shopping, "taking care to remember our greetings and goodbyes when we are at the register is still important."

Acknowledging employees who assist you shows respect and consideration for them, especially during a busy shopping season!   

“To do nothing that can offend the sensibilities of others, sums up the principle rules for conduct under all circumstances. . .”  Emily Post

Thank you notes. essential info.

If the children in your life have been treated to holiday outings, surprises, gifts etc. it is necessary for them to acknowledge their benefactors with gratitude, whether by facetime, with a special auntie, by email to grandpa, a handwritten note to great Aunt Lila... somehow someway, it must be done. 

See below for guidance from the Emily Post Institute on "the thank-you note":  Giving thanks shouldn’t be a chore—and doesn’t have to be if you make the effort to keep it interesting.This is just a brief note, about three sentences, meant to express what you're grateful for. Be sure to say what you mean directly.

Use a salutation:

Dearest First name,  Nickname,  or  Initials

1st sentence – Thank them explicitly for the specific gift or act for which you are writing the letter. I am so thankful/grateful for...

2nd Sentence – Personalize the note with an original thought about the things you are thanking for, the effort or thought behind it, what it means to you and the relationship.

3rd sentence - offer a concluding thought.

Use a closing:  "All the best,"

Happy New Year!

A Heartfelt Thank You....

For sending your children to Junior Cotillion, for setting a good example for them with honoring commitments, practicing punctuality, offering mutual respect.

The more we model the aspects of good character, the easier it will be for them to choose the right path when confronted with dilemmas. 

None of this Charm School magic would have been possible without your help. 

As we enter the new year I want to extend my deepest gratitude to you, our committed Junior Cotillion families.

Your investment in your family, our society, in the children, in the future…  your commitment to the success of this program and your dedication to elevating consideration, respect and kindness in our society are truly commendable.

A Toast: let's raise a glass to the beautiful relationships we've cultivated, the milestones we've achieved, and the gratitude we've shared throughout the holiday season. This toast is for you!

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Looking Ahead: get ready for an even more exciting year ahead! We have lined up new opportunities to help your students, your families, and our whole community thrive, flourish, and reach even greater heights.

Thank you for being an integral part of Junior Cotillion and for making a positive impact on this community.  I wish you a fantastic start to the New Year!

Cheers to a wonderful season, and I can't wait to see you in the new year!

Thursday evening

Students are encouraged to dress their very best and come out and have fun at the dance! 

Please give your children dinner at home before the ball.