Now, more than ever, it is so important to be mindful of how we speak to others. Is it edifying or unconstructive? The National League of Junior Cotillions strives to make kindness the standard. This is a value that we equip students to hold as foundational as well! But what does that look like? Read below for more insight.


Eye contact is a central pillar of being a good communicator. Not only does it show the responding individual that you are engaged, but also it indicates that you truly care about the discussion. Consider a conversation where the other person is on their phone or looking across the room. This type of communicator seems shallow and detached. But if the person you are conversing  with is making constant, comfortable eye contact, you know that they care about you and what you have to say!

Sometimes conversations are difficult or tense. We often have people come to us with news of the death of a relative or the loss of a job. An important skill is to be able to empathize with others when they are communicating hurt to you. By doing so you are revealing that you are a compassionate person who is willing to be involved in both the exciting and uplifting conversations as well as the hard conversations.

Contrarily, when people come to you with excitement and enthusiasm over an experience of opportunity, show these emotions alongside of them. One way to show that you are not only interested, but also supportive is by asking questions.  Similarly to eye contact, asking questions illustrates that you are an active contributor to the conversation. This action further develops your sense of curiosity and overall interest in a person’s life and indicates that you are a kind and sincere friend.

In some cases, especially dialogues that involve stories, conversations can be quite confusing. Whether it is a detail that you missed or they left out, it can be difficult to fully understand what the other is trying to say. In these times, always ask for clarification! Again, the other individual involved will appreciate your engagement.

Finally, in situations that are less than ideal and cause stress and frustration, try to consider the other person. Frustration is always around the corner, but there is no need for it to steal your joy! Respond to situations of frustration the NLJC way: with kindness.


It is so important to be a communicator that upholds kindness. Join the National League of Junior Cotillions in our pursuit to make kindness the foundation for today’s youth to prosper.